2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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