no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
