but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
