no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
