Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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