Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
