Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
