therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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