if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
