Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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