It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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