this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
