Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
