do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
