he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
