We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
