This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
