I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
