My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
