I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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