I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
