I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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