Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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