Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
