what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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