Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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