why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
