If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
