I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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