we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
