At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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