I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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