he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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