Apparently you make a good broom.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
