Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
