i think my tv is drunk
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
