I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
