I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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