And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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