I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
