Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
