ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Green mimosas i think yes
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
