I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
