waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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