We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
