thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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