Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
