2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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