how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize