So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
