someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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