guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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