Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
