i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
