it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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