**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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