Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
