I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
