Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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