I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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