I wish i was in the wii world.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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