Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize