i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
