the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
