Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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