no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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