I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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