she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
